are you ENFP? I am. Thus the title.
(If you have no idea what I'm talking about, take this free test. Now.)
You know how sometimes you look at your neighbors and they have a better garden, a bigger family, and a better car? Maybe they have more money or bigger accomplishments. Maybe they're more beautiful, more creative, more... fill in the blank.
It's hard to separate yourself from other people, and it's almost impossible not to compare yourself to them, how else will you know what you're doing right or wrong? But we sometimes forget that those terms are subjective and that their right or wrong may be completely different from ours! Advice on the Internet is conflicting because we are all different people. Some things will work for us and others will never work.
As I write, I'm trying to remember where my ENFP-hate/fixation began. Probably when I was in University and they were telling us to focus, pay attention, and cultivate "successful" learning habits, which we would then use "in the real world" as we look for jobs.
Gag me. If I could go back in time, I'd gag them, too.
The problem is that every society sets up ideals that fit a fraction of the population and the rest of us are left to feel like misfits all the time, like something is wrong with us. As if different is not fantastic, but shameful and it must be kept a secret.
Remember Susan Cain making that powerful speech on TED, about how introverts are not accepted and encouraged in society as much as extroverts are?
Here it is if you want to watch it again. TED BREAK!!!
If introverts are suffering because society won't accept their quiet and private ways, imagine what society does to a rebel! Being a rebel my whole life, I can attest that society is afraid of us and what is worse, we don't think it's society's fault, oh no, we think it's our fault, that there's something intrinsically wrong with us, which is not true at all!
Now, what does being an introvert or rebel have to do with being ENFP???
It all has to do with the same mistake we all make - wanting something we don't have. Looking over the fence and into our neighbor's lawn to see that it is in fact greener, even though we are obviously color blind from all the crazy comparison and envy.
Being ENFP (a.k.a. The Campaigner) is not bad. It's actually quite fun, but it does have it's drawbacks. For example, we get bored very easily and we can't really focus on one thing for too long. We get really excited really quick, which makes us burn out quicker. We are creative, flexible, and generous with our insights and projects, but it's hard to bring things to completion because they've already lost some of their initial luster.
As we all know, society values consistency, determinations, and rational thinking. To society, we are a bunch of dreamers who will never amount to anything real. And the same thing could be said of Multipassionates - even though we are never short of fun projects or fun times, we struggle with focus and completing things because we're already hopping onto the next fun project and leaving a bunch of unfinished ones in our wake.
You can be anything you want to be if you EMBRACE your personality type and stop comparing yourself - or worse, trying to be more like someone else - and complaining about not being more like this or that. It's time to celebrate you, unique human.
Self-awareness and self-acceptance work wonders if you embrace them. If you haven't watched Gretchen Rubin talk about the 4 tendency types and how to get habits to stick according to your type, you have been living under a rock and you should definitely see it now. That woman nailed it and when I realized I was a 100% rebel - take the test yourself - I decided that instead of bemoaning the fact that finishing things will never be easy and menial tasks will never be fun, I will do my best to focus on my strengths.
If you haven't seen it yet, here's another VIDEO BREAK:
You are still the same person with the same character flaws, but you no longer waste time with what could've been if you were born from different parents or if you cultivated better habits when you were growing up. What has been and where you are right now can't be changed, but your future completely depends on the kind of mindset you adopt.
People who "succeed" and live fulfilled lives do not complain or make excuses. They do not try to be other people. They take what they have, do their best, and don't waste a minute. People who "win" play the hand they were given. And they play it well.
So what now?
First, forget about what society says. It is only a homogenized version of humanity. 🐦 It keeps us safe and under control, but does nothing for our confidence. Second, be who you are - whether it's ENFP, INTJ, XXXX, or YYYY. Just be that, unapologetically.
Finally, don't ever forget that you are priceless, rebel warrior. :)